When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
