i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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