Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
4 words: hood of his car
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
