Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
