I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
