Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
