exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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