I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
