this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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