Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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