She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
