no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
