Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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