Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
