Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
