If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
