roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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