Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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