Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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