$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
