he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
