I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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