Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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