Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
