Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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