Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
