The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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