We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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