Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
