I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
