Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
