Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
