Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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