let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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