Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
