I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
