do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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