and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
FUCK WHALES
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
