I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
