Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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