Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
