Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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