I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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