I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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