remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Yo dont text me then not text me
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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