just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
