I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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