thus making me awesome and them whores
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
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