By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
