I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
