I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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