my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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