It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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