I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
