what day is it and did you see me today?
we're making bets on your personal life
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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